p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
