Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
