Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
