you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
