HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
