yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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