This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
