I wish I only lived at night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
