the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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