I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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