No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
