Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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