he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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