is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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