wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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