these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
