I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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