You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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