we're blogging at a bar
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
