I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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