I am in a vortex of obligation.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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