I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
