i think my tv is drunk
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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