He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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