I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
