You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
