You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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