I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
