my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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