remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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