wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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