Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
