the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
