Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
