Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
