I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you didnt know i had herpes?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
