I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
