side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
