I didn't shave. On purpose
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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