so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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