Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Blow job season was short but glorious.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
