i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
