They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
