everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
