There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
