okay pat passed out under dana's car
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
