I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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