I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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