in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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