then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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