if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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