I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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