I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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